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I created this framework with one of my clients who was feeling overwhelmed and burnt out. She said she felt like throwing her phone into the lake to get away from all the demands and tasks. She wanted to just do nothing, read a book, sleep and be alone for a while. Have you ever felt like that? 🙋‍♀️

What we discovered in our coaching conversation was that she didn’t truly want to be alone. She was lacking a sense of fulfillment and fun in her life. What she really craved was connection and friendship. (Even introverts need friends and social connection!)

So, we came up with a framework to help her start making connections and getting out of her comfort zone. I call it the Fun & Fulfillment Framework. This framework is great for whenever you need to fill up your energy tank so you can be at your best, feel whole and enjoy life. 

If you are a high performing woman and you’ve been going through all the motions, getting stuff done, but feel something is missing… Maybe you feel like my client and just want a break on a desert island, or you crave connection, this framework will help you take steps in a way that will draw those connections, fun and fulfilling experiences to you in the best way possible.

Before I share the framework I want to address the underlying emotion that is partially responsible for the feeling of wanting to get away and take a big break from everything. It’s the emotion of overwhelm

It’s helpful to understand this before attempting to use the framework. Overwhelm is an emotional message. It’s telling you that you either need to change your perception or change your actions. 

So ask yourself these questions: 

  • Is it my perception, action, or both that needs to change? 
  • What does this emotion really mean for me? 
  • What else could it mean? 

Once you understand a little more about what the overwhelm is trying to tell you, you can begin to work at overcoming it. 

Overwhelm can be overcome in several ways: 

  1. Starting where you are: sometimes we get overwhelmed when a task or project seems too big. Start by acknowledging where you are and accept that this is your starting place. For example, when I work with women on their fitness, they have to first accept their current abilities and level of fitness in order to move forward effectively. Getting down on themselves for not being further along is a leading cause of quitting. The women who are able to compassionately work with themselves at their current level, end up committing for years and are able to see powerful results in their lives.
  2. Identifying the smallest step forward: It’s important to know what your next step is and to focus on that. Once you complete that step move onto the next. This prevents overwhelm and fosters a sense of confidence as well as accomplishment 
  3. Reprioritize: Ask yourself, ‘What’s most important?’ Sometimes we keep ourselves busy with urgent issues that aren’t important. Instead, focus on what will move the needle most and have the biggest impact. Sometimes you’ll find that completing one truly important task can make several unimportant ones unnecessary. 
  4. Take action well: This helps provide a sense of control and being in charge of the way things are unfolding. Once you’ve determined what’s most important, resolve and be determined to take action in an effective, high quality way. Taking feeble or sub-par action will add to your subconscious burden and negative self image. 
  5. Keep your commitment: Once you’ve resolved to do something, you must be committed. Commitment to completion, or to sticking with it for the long haul is a major determining factor for success. Success most often doesn’t ’just happen’ it’s created through action, specifically consistent action. Be in it for the long haul. 

For many women overwhelm has another, hidden layer. It’s not only about taking action towards completing your tasks and goals. When a woman feels like running away, taking a break, being alone etc, it means to me that she isn’t filling up her energy tank. And the thing is, no matter how efficiently and effectively she meets her goals, completes her tasks, checks off her to dos, and gets even more done, she will still be left with a very similar feeling of overwhelm, and wanting to get away. 

Filling your energy tank can be accomplished in many ways and it varies woman to woman. Here are a few questions that can help you identify your particular ways of getting energized:

  • What lights you up? 
  • What makes your heart sing?
  • When was a time you felt happiest and most energized? What were you doing, what was different?
  • What makes you feel most relaxed and at ease?
  • When was a time you felt most at peace? What was different?

These questions will help you hone in on some ideas for activities and changes you can make in your life that will bring in a sense of fun and fulfillment. However, something I see again and again with my clients is that knowing is not enough. Often, women are dug so deep in their way of being – getting things done, being there for everyone else, putting their own wellbeing on the bottom of the list, hustling, and being busy – that it is not at all easy to just go out and start meeting people, or engaging in new activities. 

The fun and fulfillment framework is designed specifically for this reason. It’s a framework to help you break out of your old patterns so you can launch into your new fun and fulfilling life. Here’s the 5 part framework:

Fun & Fulfillment Framework 

  1. Importance: You’ve got to know why this matters. Understand deeply that the show can’t go on when you are drained. All those people you are there for? You can’t be there for them as your best self when you are exhausted and overwhelmed. Your self care and wellbeing are THE #1 PRIORITY. That’s why you must _______________ (go out with your friends, practice a new hobby, or go on a vacation, dedicate more time to prayer, learning…etc…)
  2. Belief: You must believe in your bones that the above is true. You must believe in your own value as a woman and as an individual. You must know with certainty that your health and well being – mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually– are the most important things in your life, and that they must come before everyone else’s health and wellbeing. I know I can say this and not worry that you will become some self centered tyrant – because every single woman I work with is literally the opposite of that. You need to know that you matter, and I know this will make you an even better person who is even more beneficial to the world.
  3. Risk: You have to be willing to take risks. You won’t know the outcome of every new thing you try. If your needs include socializing, you will have to put yourself out there and risk awkward moments, trying things you don’t like, and potentially meeting people who are not your people. It’s about knowing that there is no failure, only learning and growing forward. Things not going perfectly is an integral part of growing and creating the life you want. If you play it too safe, you will most likely stay exactly where you are, how you are and who you are right now.
  4. Curiosity: The solution for so many things. As you embark upon this new journey of seeking fun and fulfillment, drop back into the kind of curiosity you used to have when you were a child. Meeting someone new? Get curious about them, what lights them up? What are they up to that they’re excited about? Trying a new hobby or sport? Ask all the questions, especially the ones you are afraid are ‘dumb’ questions. Try things you would never have tried just to find out what it’s like. 
  5. Openness: Be open to new opportunities, adventures and people. Notice if you are shutting down ideas because you think you already know. For example, you may not go to a particular event because you think you know ‘what kind of people’ will be there. What if you didn’t know? We are often prevented from expanding because we have so many limiting beliefs and ideas about ourselves, other people, experiences, places etc. Be open to the possibility you really never know what to expect and amazing things will open up for you. When you are open to possibility, you can see opportunities that you would have otherwise been oblivious to. Being Open includes withholding judgment and taking your time before drawing conclusions. 

This framework will help you go from stuck, overwhelmed, exhausted and drained to a more fun and fulfilling life. 

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. What did you discover you need most in your life to fill your tank and be more fulfilled? What part of the framework will be most instrumental for you? Hit reply and let me know!

Much Love, 

Danielle 

I’m a Trusted Advisor and Coach for Female Leaders: entrepreneurs, non-profit leaders and dreamers ready to take the big leap.

I believe that women are the most powerful force in the world, but we’re often held back by what we think it means to be female & how we’re supposed to show up in marriage, as daughters and in the world. Stifled by perfectionism, self doubt, or the inclination to give, and give, and give, until there’s barely anything left.

I believe that when women are strong, everyone wins.

I help women overcome barriers and build fulfilling, empowered lives while increasing influence and impact in the world.

We rarely work on tactics and strategies. Instead, we dig deep and work on the level of identity. Who do you want to be in the world? Who do you need to be in order to make your dreams a reality? I help you create and become HER.

It can get uncomfortable digging that deep. But on the other side of discomfort is what you want, and doing it with a strong support is better than doing it alone, or surrounded by people who are too afraid to say the hard things you really need to hear.

I’m here for YOU.

♥️ You are more powerful than you think.

♥️ Greatness is from the inside out.

♥️ One step in a better direction, completely changes the destination.

Some ways to work with me:

Thrive Private Client: Elite athletes and top performers always have a coach by their side supporting them to grow and achieve more. We work together 1:1 to create the life you want to live into.

Prosperous Life Group Coaching: Group coaching gives you time on and off the hot seat, creates a great community feel, and opens you up to possibilities and ideas you wouldn’t encounter in private.

The Warrior Training ExperienceTraining Experience: A full day custom designed for you to develop the spirit of a peaceful warrior. Experience your transformation in the presence of the power of horses, bows & arrows + more.

Services are also available for organizations. I work with teams to increase the productivity and satisfaction of your leadership, with a focus on increasing impact and growth of the organization. Email me with more information about your organization at danielleloducacoaching@gmail.com

Find me on Instagram @danielle_loduca

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